What is depression and how to deal with it

We all feel sad and low from time to time. This is normal. In a normal day people can go through a range of emotions.

Having low feelings and depressive thoughts for a long time is different however.

Sometimes people can suffer from ‘clinical’ depression, which means the depression has symptoms that indicate that the feelings of being ‘down’ are not just due to something going wrong in the person’s life.

It is more than those normal feelings of sadness.

Different people describe depression differently, and it may not feel exactly the same for any two people.

About 25 per cent of young people suffer depression by the time they are 24, but very few seek help.

This is often due to not understanding depression and being worried about what their friends might think.

Warning! If you feel so depressed that you want to harm yourself, it’s important to talk to someone now. Tell a person you trust, or speak to a health care professional.

Symptoms of depression

· Unusual sad mood that does not go away

· Loss of enjoyment in activities that used to be enjoyable

· Lack of energy or tiredness

· Feeling anxious

· Feeling empty or numb

· Feeling lonely or unloved

· Not being interested in anything, because nothing seems fun anymore

· Crying and not knowing why you’re crying

· Getting headaches or stomach aches

· Not eating, and losing weight

· Eating much more than usual

· Not being able to get to sleep, or waking up early

· Wanting to do nothing but sleep

· Feeling grumpy or bad tempered

· Starting to use, or using more drugs, including alcohol or tobacco

· Thinking of death or suicide – all threats or talk of suicide should be taken seriously.

If someone is suffering from five or more of these symptoms, including at least one of the first two, for most of the time over 2 weeks or longer, then they are probably depressed.

Sometimes people who are depressed are made to feel bad because they have some of these symptoms.

Family and friends may just think they are being lazy.

The depressed person can be made to feel like they just don’t make any effort, and this can cause further suffering and a deeper sense of depression.

Often the person with depression is not aware of the symptoms themselves. They can feel embarrassed and won’t ask for help because of this embarrassment.

What causes depression?

Depression can happen for several reasons:

· Sometimes there is a family tendency to get depression.

· Sometimes there are reasons like a family break-up, child abuse, ongoing bullying at school, rape, the death of a friend or family member, a relationship break-up, family conflict, or several of these things happening close together.

· Some women become depressed after they have a baby.

· Sometimes there is no obvious reason.

· Sometimes there can be a lack of certain chemicals in the brain. Neurotransmitters are chemicals in the brain that regulate mood. Sometimes a person with depression may not produce enough.

Although each person will experience depression differently, there is some evidence that young women are more likely to be sad and withdrawn, and that young men tend to act out in antisocial ways when depressed – like being aggressive or stealing.

Ways to deal with depression

How you manage depression depends on the type of depression and how bad it is. Some of the following things can be very helpful:

· Talk to a friend or person you trust.

· Counseling could help you understand the reason for depression and sort out practical problems – you could talk to your doctor or a counselor at your local school or community health centre.

Some studies suggest that what you eat affects your mood. A good balanced diet will make sure you have all the essential nutrients needed for your brain to function well.

Exercise: Studies have shown that after only 30 minutes of exercise people get a boost of good feelings. 30 minutes of moderate exercise 3 times a week is what you should aim for. Try to relax more. Relaxation exercises are a good way to reduce stress. Do creative things like writing and drawing – different forms of expression other than talking?

Anti-depressant drugs – modern drugs are effective, and will not send you to sleep, but they should be used with regular check ups and counseling support. Most doctors will be reluctant to prescribe medication to people under about 18 years old.

What not to do

Some people use alcohol or other drugs to block out the depression. These don’t make things better, and can have very bad side effects.

Ways to help a friend who seems depressed

You could help your friend by:

· Taking your friend’s feelings seriously

· Letting your friend know you’re there and really listening whole-heartedly. This can be like a lifeline – it might be hard for people to talk at first, so just keep on letting your friend know you’re there. It can also be hard for you, because your friend might cry and become very distressed. You don’t have to try to ‘fix’ it – listening and caring is the most important thing.

· Offering to make an appointment to see a counselor, a community health worker or doctor

· Offering to go with your friend to the appointment

· Spending time doing things that your friend want to do

· Letting your friend know you care.

Source: Daily express, 30^th July 2008, Section: Youth & Parenting

The art of working in a team

In today’s competitive student world, the ability to work harmoniously with other people is a good way of marking yourself out from everybody else. While teamwork may offer the chance to blame others for your mistakes, you can never blame them for your failings as a teammate.

In any case, working out where to apportion blame is not a good way to approach membership of any new team. Instead, get to know one another, so you can build up a shared identity and combine your strengths. Find out each other’s priorities, values, weaknesses, past achievements, names.

Don’t shy away from conflicts but work out how to deal with them, preferably without resorting to anything physical. Humor can be good glue, so have a laugh together – but not at a team member’s sticking-out ears.

Before setting down to business, it’s important to establish ground rules. First, make sure you all share the same concept of time. Will 9.30am meetings actually take place at midday? Then, work out how you are going to make and communicate decisions.

These are probably best made at a formal meeting and communicated by email, rather than in a rumble of agreement at a post-meeting pub session. You must also agree on who will be responsible for making decisions. Will they need to be made unanimously or by the vocal young man who has already mentioned the project on his CV under “leadership skills”?

Even if you have decided that decisions don’t have to be unanimous, it is important that every team member is kept involved, including those who always disagree with the majority view, rarely say a word, or have a weird haircut.

Once you’ve got your rules of engagement, define what you want to achieve, and the deadline. Work out what you have to do before the time is up to do it.

Now here comes brainstorming. The important thing here is a fully open mind. Write everyone’s ideas down without sniggering. If you tell someone their idea is stupid, you may stop them coming up with something fantastic later. Once the brainstorming is over, you can strike out the suggestions that won’t work. Remember that ideas can sometimes be good even if they’re not yours. And don’t take it personally if yours are ditched – you will still have lots to contribute.

The team must assign roles according to everyone’s individual skills. Are you a charismatic leader or a details person? Remember that every task is equally important, even if one involves making a presentation and acknowledging the applause of your peers while the other involves hours of photocopying.

Whatever your role, it is important to keep a record of what has been decided at each stage and what each member of the team has contributed. Then, when the task is over, you can review how well it went. It is popularly known as covering your back.

More tips on coping with exam stress

Exams are stressful, even for people who have worked hard consistently throughout the year. Psychiatrist Dr Michael Simpson gives advice and tips on coping with examination stress.

A modest amount of stress and anxiety can provide valuable stimulus that gets us to study and prepare, otherwise we might not bother to put in our best effort, according to Simpson.

Exams are one of the most stressful of experiences we routinely endure and inflict on others.

The issues we explore should also be useful to our regulars if you, or members of your family, are facing exams, job assessments, job interviews, and similar ordeals.

We’ll be looking at some key aspects of coping with the stress of the exams already upon us.

1. Firstly, not all stress is bad for us – the trick is to get the dose right. If you find exams to be relaxing, or pure pleasure, then you must be missing something here! A modest amount of stress and anxiety can provide valuable stimulus that gets us to study and prepare, otherwise we might not bother to put in our best effort. Anxiety is normal. The exam results are important to you and not entirely predictable – anyone can be anxious about that. But you don’t need to become so anxious that you’re crippled by fear. You need to control the anxiety, and not let it control you. You’re the boss, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

2. We don’t like being in situations where we can’t entirely control what happens, especially when the result really matters to us. One important response is to decide to control what you can control, and not waste time getting worked up over the elements that you can’t control.

3. Above all, try to avoid getting anxious. Otherwise, you can set up a feedback loop. What’s that? If a microphone accidentally points at a loudspeaker, small sounds get whipped back and forth, amplified each time, ending in an ear-splitting screech. In other words, don’t make your own natural anxiety such a big deal that it frightens you.

Sometimes anxiety needs to be placed in quarantine. When seriously anxious people get together, they can act as an amplifier and get jointly more frightened. If you have friends who get very anxious, wish them well, but don’t spend time with them as anxiety can be infectious. If you are blessed with friends who take things calmly, time spent with them may help you cool off, too.

4. It’s well known that many people think that the use of drugs – both legal and illegal, prescription and street – can help when coping with stress. They are actually highly likely to damage your chances of success even in the short term. You shouldn’t actually use anything, unless you have very specific kinds of stress problems.

Source: Daily express, 23^rd July 2008, Section: Youth & Parenting